How does the author convey meaning in the poem Bayonet Charge?
Your task is to create an improved and more sophisticated response than the example below. The candidate has used some direct reference to detail using quotations, but has failed to pick apart (unpick) the use of language in sufficient detail. They have also used some of the ideas behind the poem, but haven't really opened these out.
Would you consider this an A, B, C or D grade response?
Why do they keep saying 'it has an effect on the reader'? I want to know what the effect is, so stop wasting words and rephrase the response! This is what I feel like screaming into their brain guys. We can do better than this - they haven't exactly PEE'd it either. My heart weeps and a drowsy numbness pains my brain!
Leave your response in the comments box underneath this post.
Candidate response:
Bayonet charge is a poem about an unnamed soldier who is fighting in WW1. Even the first word in the poem (suddenly) draws the reader's attention because it shows that the events in the poem are unexpected and unusual. Hughes uses repetition of the word 'raw' to highlight that the soldier is new to the war and is therefore young and inexperienced. The fact that the soldier stumbles and is 'dazzled' also adds to the point that he is inexperienced.
As well as showing that youth played a big part in the war, Hughes shows the horrors of it. He uses the personification ' bullets smacking the belly out of the air' so as not to shock the reader by saying that a soldier has been shot, but to show how horrific the war was.
Hughes also shows the idea of idealism verses reality.
In the second verse, there is a lot of reference to time. For example, the word 'stopped' puts a halt to the time and the clockwork is mentioned in the next line. This has an effect of the reader as it, in a way has a sense of slow motion to it and adds to the tension of the poem.
Your task is to create an improved and more sophisticated response than the example below. The candidate has used some direct reference to detail using quotations, but has failed to pick apart (unpick) the use of language in sufficient detail. They have also used some of the ideas behind the poem, but haven't really opened these out.
Would you consider this an A, B, C or D grade response?
Why do they keep saying 'it has an effect on the reader'? I want to know what the effect is, so stop wasting words and rephrase the response! This is what I feel like screaming into their brain guys. We can do better than this - they haven't exactly PEE'd it either. My heart weeps and a drowsy numbness pains my brain!
Leave your response in the comments box underneath this post.
Candidate response:
Bayonet charge is a poem about an unnamed soldier who is fighting in WW1. Even the first word in the poem (suddenly) draws the reader's attention because it shows that the events in the poem are unexpected and unusual. Hughes uses repetition of the word 'raw' to highlight that the soldier is new to the war and is therefore young and inexperienced. The fact that the soldier stumbles and is 'dazzled' also adds to the point that he is inexperienced.
As well as showing that youth played a big part in the war, Hughes shows the horrors of it. He uses the personification ' bullets smacking the belly out of the air' so as not to shock the reader by saying that a soldier has been shot, but to show how horrific the war was.
Hughes also shows the idea of idealism verses reality.
In the second verse, there is a lot of reference to time. For example, the word 'stopped' puts a halt to the time and the clockwork is mentioned in the next line. This has an effect of the reader as it, in a way has a sense of slow motion to it and adds to the tension of the poem.
